White Belt healing

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There are so many words I could use, and yet my Nia White Belt training involved much more than words.  I am processing and integrating.  I will likely share more in time.  For now, I will share this.

For an entire week,

I put shame and judgment on the back burner.  I acknowledged them when they came up for me, and told them I didn’t need them.

No one else shamed me, or used shame as a weapon against me.  I didn’t feel ashamed.

When I experienced self judgment, I used what feedback it had as notes for the future, like when it told me I missed a step or fumbled putting on the microphone.  But I mostly quieted the words that could potentially disrupt my sense of being in my body.  I turned the volume down.

I heard statements like, “We don’t see anyone as broken.”  While I’ve heard similar phrases before, I still often observed others’ tendency to fix or correct me or my behavior in those situations.  This time, I had a different experience.
I watched a man who recently had a stroke move slowly in the back of the room.  I heard a Nia teacher talk about how she felt dancing after her hip replacement.  And I also know that there is deep soul healing happening all the time there, in that space, on the dance floor.

I felt the power of my own healing, my own wholeness.

I felt the relief that acceptance brings – my own and others’.  I trusted without effort.  I felt my own spirit solidly in my body again.  I allowed myself to be in community.  While I definitely felt the heartache from past experiences, I embraced how this experience felt:  open, alive, real, and loving.
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2 responses to this post.

  1. Welcome, New White Belt. I am still processing. 🙂

    Reply

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