Stepping with caution, opening to trust

Brene Brown quote
I have spent a lot of my life wanting to belong.  I have wanted others to understand me.  I also have spent a lot of time feeling misunderstood and out of place.

I found a sense of belonging in a community where I lived, learned, and grew for over two years.  I thought I had found understanding, too. But when I stopped feeling like I belonged, I also realized that people generally didn’t understand what I was going through at the time.

I am now hesitant, cautious. My Nia White Belt training was the first full-fledged group activity that I’ve done in the year since leaving that community.  It felt right, and I felt welcome.  And now, I find myself questioning that welcomeness: Did they really welcome me in as I am?  Would they maintain that open warmth over time?  I am afraid of entering into another situation where I feel like I belong and then others betraying my trust.

Okay, use DBT STOP skill on those thoughts and step back.  

I felt welcome in my Nia classes from the start.  They seemed glad to see me every time I walked in the door.  The White Belt felt like a more in-depth version of this experience.  It felt like a nonjudgmental space where open acceptance was a deeply held value. It felt amazing. It felt healing. I want that.  I want to trust that and hold onto it.

Discernment is necessary. I do not need to go into every situation and tell myself immediately that it’s safe and right to be there.  I can be cautious.  And I believe it’s important to be open to trusting again, especially when it comes to activities I love and the people I share them with.  

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