Deciding to live again: How Nia helped me step back into being.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day, and September is Suicide Prevention and Awareness month.  In honor of that, I plan to post what helped me decide that I wanted to live again.  I hope to write a series of posts.  This is the first.

Sometimes, I think it sounds flippant to say Nia saved my life.

In any case, it has definitely played a major part in healing my body, mind, and spirit.

I am a survivor, a dreamer, a sensitive spirit. I have wanted to live and feel strongly and passionately, and there have been times where I wanted to give up everything so I would no longer feel so much pain.  In the spring of 2014, I hit rock bottom.

Last summer, I was severely depressed, and trying to put distance between myself and the week I spent in the psychiatric hospital in the late spring.

For weeks, Nia was the only thing that would get me out of bed on a consistent basis.  I would wake up, blurry eyed and sad-hearted to make it to an 8 a.m. Nia class three times a week. The dance studio was the first place where I gave myself permission to smile again.

When I stepped onto the dance floor,
I did not think of myself as suicidal, lost, a failure.
I was simply myself, each step bringing me back into being. My fellow dancers welcomed me, no questions asked, with open arms.

I am now a year older, a Nia White Belt, and learning a routine to teach.  I am still discovering how to live in a way that works for me.

Nia is definitely part of that equation.
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2 responses to this post.

  1. Love this post. I am looking forward to reading more of your story

    Reply

  2. Beautiful!! Thank you for your post!

    Reply

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