Letter to self, 1/2/16

Dear You,

I see that you want to teach Nia.  You want to finish and sell your oracle cards.  You are reaching out to new friends.  You are looking ahead to create a life with your love.  You are dreaming again.

For the past year and a half, you have had the freedom to go deep inside yourself, and create a space of retreat and healing.  You have used this time well.

I see there is a part of you that remains cautious and hesitant. I want you to know that is okay.  There is part of you that is afraid, and sometimes wants to hide under blankets.  I know you know that will only bring you temporary comfort.

You do not have to jump back into the world and take on these tasks headfirst.  I want you to give yourself permission to tiptoe, to dance, to take it in pieces, in stages.  Taking one step at a time will be better for you anyway – that way, there will be less chance of becoming overstimulated.  I want to remind you that you can always return to a quiet place to recharge.

There are no longer people in your life who suggest that you need to be more “out” than you are.  You can have a vivid internal life and find a place for yourself, too.

You are part of the world.
You still touch others’ lives.  You have changed your own life.  You may not be part of the community or sector where you once sought belonging.  You may not always know where and how you fit.
Your life belongs to you.  You have claimed it.  You have people in your love who you love, and who love you.

I see you peering around the corner,
wanting to step in, step forward.
It’s safe to want what you want.
I want to give you permission to explore, experiment, and play.
There is no need to rush or to hide away –
there are spaces in between.

I believe in you.  Trust yourself, and take baby steps.

Love,

Me.

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