I’m tired/I’m grateful

I’m tired of being long-distance, of being so far away from him. It’s been over two years now that we’ve lived in separate places.

I’m grateful that I’ve gotten to have this time to heal and grow while we’ve been apart.

I’m tired of mainly seeing each other on the screen.

I’m grateful that we have FaceTime and Skype, and that we can see each other that way and talk on a regular basis.

I’m grateful that this has challenged us to learn how to communicate more effectively.

I’m tired of visits that feel so incredibly full, like we’re trying to shove everything we can into a short period of time.

I’m grateful that we’ve gotten to have these visits, because even small amounts of time together can feel precious and amazing.

I’m tired of missing him.

I’m grateful that soon, we’ll get to live and  be together on a regular basis.

(And part of me knows that there will be times when he or I will want space, and that kind of longing will be far from my mind. That missing will happen, but perhaps for shorter periods of time – a  business trip, visiting a friend or family, a day when he comes home from work later than expected, etc.)

I am tired, and I am grateful.

It’s less than two months before our wedding. I’m anticipating stressful moments, bittersweet moments, celebratory moments. I want to hold this time close to me – to be able to cherish the last weeks of my time here, collect memories, and to prepare myself for the transition.

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