I’m tired. I’m often tired. I take at least one nap a day, and sometimes I crave more than that. My energy crashes something feel like something dropping out from under me. I often remind myself that I’ve been under a lot of stress for the past few months. It’s no easy feat to plan a wedding and a move, and then to actually do it. Then I’m also stressed about the upcoming election, and the time just changed…
- My vision therapy sessions are done. I still am doing a few maintenance exercises, especially to practice divergence (eyes going out to see far).
- My individual therapy sessions are done. My therapist and I had come to a natural stopping point anyway.
- I was going to Nia classes three times a week, and always enjoyed connecting with my fellow teachers and students. Now, I have no classes to go to, at least for now (none are offered until the New Year, and while I hope to offer my own, that will take time). I’ve committed to doing three full classes in my living room (through videos, or from the routines I know by heart) each week. Exercise-wise, it’s similar to what I would get in a studio. Connection and getting out-wise, it’s not.
Now, I don’t have any particular need to go anywhere, other than to go grocery shopping. I have been taking walks in the neighborhood. I think soon I’ll sit down with my love and we’ll brainstorm places I can either walk or drive to so I can get out and start to orient myself more to this new city. I’m glad that he’s settled in and oriented to the area; he’s been here over a year now.
I did sign up for two craft fairs, one at the end of this month, and one in December. I need to inventory my products and see what I’d like to take to sell. I’ve made a few new things – mostly ornaments/suncatchers.
It’s been amazing to wake up and turn and see my love sleeping at my side. I’ve enjoyed making meals together, and finding our rhythm again. It’s been over four and a half years since we last lived together, and we’ve been long-distance for the past two. I’m grateful to be here with him, and I’m enjoying being married so far. I still fumble over the word “husband,” although the words “wife” and “spouse” come more easily to my tongue. We’ve started on our thank-you notes, and are looking through our wedding photos so we can choose ones to print. We’ve been getting things to organize and decorate our apartment; it’s feeling homier.
This is the first major life change I’ve gone through since I was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. While there is part of me that is like, “let’s do a bunch of things now,” I am generally taking things slowly, keeping in mind that I need time. Sometimes, it feels like all my nerves are on edge. I often feel disoriented; I get easily overstimulated. Everything is so new. My weighted blanket and lap pad have been major allies in self-soothing. My love will also give me firm hugs when I need them.
When I feel stagnant or anxious, I walk outside and breathe in the fall air. It’s warm for this time of year, even for the desert. Still, there is often a cool breeze that reminds me of the season, and that winter is coming. I am going through a major change, and change will continue around me.