A time of transition.

I’ve had ideas on posts to write, but I haven’t had many words lately.

I’m tired. I’m often tired. I take at least one nap a day, and sometimes I crave more than that. My energy crashes something feel like something dropping out from under me. I often remind myself that I’ve been under a lot of stress for the past few months. It’s no easy feat to plan a wedding and a move, and then to actually do it. Then I’m also stressed about the upcoming election, and the time just changed…

A lot of things have changed; I am adjusting.
Before leaving, I wrapped up the structure of my life in my hometown:
  • My vision therapy sessions are done. I still am doing a few maintenance exercises, especially to practice divergence (eyes going out to see far).
  • My individual therapy sessions are done. My therapist and I had come to a natural stopping point anyway.
  • I was going to Nia classes three times a week, and always enjoyed connecting with my fellow teachers and students. Now, I have no classes to go to, at least for now (none are offered until the New Year, and while I hope to offer my own, that will take time). I’ve committed to doing three full classes in my living room (through videos, or from the routines I know by heart) each week. Exercise-wise, it’s similar to what I would get in a studio. Connection and getting out-wise, it’s not.

Now, I don’t have any particular need to go anywhere, other than to go grocery shopping. I have been taking walks in the neighborhood. I think soon I’ll sit down with my love and we’ll brainstorm places I can either walk or drive to so I can get out and start to orient myself more to this new city. I’m glad that he’s settled in and oriented to the area; he’s been here over a year now.

I did sign up for two craft fairs, one at the end of this month, and one in December. I need to inventory my products and see what I’d like to take to sell. I’ve made a few new things – mostly ornaments/suncatchers.

It’s been amazing to wake up and turn and see my love sleeping at my side. I’ve enjoyed making meals together, and finding our rhythm again. It’s been over four and a half years since we last lived together, and we’ve been long-distance for the past two. I’m grateful to be here with him, and I’m enjoying being married so far. I still fumble over the word “husband,” although the words “wife” and “spouse” come more easily to my tongue.  We’ve started on our thank-you notes, and are looking through our wedding photos so we can choose ones to print. We’ve been getting things to organize and decorate our apartment; it’s feeling homier.

This is the first major life change I’ve gone through since I was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder. While there is part of me that is like, “let’s do a bunch of things now,” I am generally taking things slowly, keeping in mind that I need time. Sometimes, it feels like all my nerves are on edge. I often feel disoriented; I get easily overstimulated. Everything is so new. My weighted blanket and lap pad have been major allies in self-soothing. My love will also give me firm hugs when I need them.

When I feel stagnant or anxious, I walk outside and breathe in the fall air. It’s warm for this time of year, even for the desert. Still, there is often a cool breeze that reminds me of the season, and that winter is coming. I am going through a major change, and change will continue around me.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Yeah, dancing in your living room alone is not the same as dancing with a group. Nia is great fun and the choreography helps with some many things touching on all realms (the BMES), but it is so much more when dancing with people. But good for you for committing to your own movement. Yay!

    Reply

    • While it’s been really good to maintain my Nia practice, I really miss dancing with other people. I agree that Nia feels like so much more when dancing with a group. At the moment, I’m intimidated about the process of offering my own classes to create that kind of community- I’ll be one of two people offering them in the city (I want to, and I’m also new to the area). Right now, there are a lot of unknowns.

      Reply

      • There was a time when WordPress e-mailed responses to bloggers. It no longer does that yet I am still expecting it. I am just now seeing this. Although November was kind of a blur for me.

        I had thought I read that you are teaching . . . since it is January 2017 now, you could be and I could have read that. Either way, I wanted to reply and say you can do it . . . which I bet you are!

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