When something feels like a big deal…

I’ve had the realization that it’s often not helpful for me to tell myself that something isn’t a big deal.

Something that’s small and easy to do for someone else may be more challenging or feel bigger to me, and vice versa.

Sometimes, it takes me a lot of energy to do things like make a phone call (to someone I don’t know) or go to a potentially crowded store. Other things come more naturally to me: for example, it’s easier for me to communicate through writing. It’s fairly easy for me to motivate myself to exercise regularly. That may not be true for everyone.

I know when I tell myself that something isn’t a big deal, but the energetic cost of the task is high, it often feels harder to do. I can end up blaming myself for getting worked up over something that “should” be small. At the same time, it’s important to check the facts and acknowledge when task at hand is not truly threatening to my well-being – but to do so without putting myself down.

So, here’s a validation mantra for myself: if something feels big energetically, no matter what the size or duration of the task, to give myself enough – or even extra – credit. To allow myself to feel its bigness, to acknowledge it as something I need to do without trying to convince myself that it should feel or be easier. To celebrate accomplishments, no matter what their size. And to acknowledge another person’s struggle when they are faced with a task that feels big to them.


One response to this post.

  1. I think I need to employ this idea.


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